Identity Crisis!

         Ngugi Wa taiong illustrates the struggles of assimilation within ones self  "Minutes of Glory" and the other stories in which the characters have to battle themselves with who they are and what their environments want them to be to fit in.

      In "Minutes of Glory" Ngugi Wa Taiong tells this story about a women named Wanjiru but as the book points out from the start, she likes her Christian name Beatrice better. We then learn that she is a barmaid but shortly after, it's quite clear to realize that Beatrice is an aspiring and struggling hooker throughout the story torn with mixed emotions about herself and her life. 

      The author first starts off telling us how Beatrice want's nothing more than to be just like the other girls. She is unable to attract all the men or almost any for that part but she desperately wants their attention, love, gifts and above all else to be wanted. Throughout the story we are told how envious of the other girls she is and has no idea why the men would choose these women, even some uglier then herself, would still get many more admirers then she.

       At first she seems to blame herself almost as if she was to ugly but then thinking back she realizes that some of these women were uglier than herself and she believes it had to be her skin. Even when she got Ambi to disguise her dark skin as white she believe she did not have enough of the Ambi. Knowing that she could not afford to completely cover herself up in Ambi was a "constant source of shame and irritation for her ambi-self." It's almost implied that she is ugly because of who she is his or even because of her dark skin.

        Secondly, Beatrice starts to come off as very materialistic. She believes the other girls are getting more attention because they have stockings, wigs, jewelry and things to that nature. We can recall several times as to where Beatrice fantasizes of men buying her things. Moreover it just starts with her seemingly wanting nothing more then to be like the others and to be accepted by all, undoubtedly one of the primary messages of the author concerning imperialism.\

        Yet just when we think we know everything about this story theirs an almost completely opposite side to this Beatrice character. She wants more then just a bunch of rich lovers and to be envied by all she wants love. We are told this directly when the book states "What she wanted was a decent work and a man or several men who cared for her." It also goes on to say that the need for men may have been mistaken for a home and a child for her to go to bed with. Ironically enough the author informs us it may be her genuine need that scares men off who want different things.

       Sadly enough, I myself never look into why things happen so much as what has happened. When first reading this story I finished thinking sarcastically, surprise a hooker who robs a client and  goes to jail, shocking. However as much as I hate to admit it, I've been in the same situation, kind of not that I was ever hoping to become desirable to men everywhere but the same thought process of thinking you want one thing and turns out you may want another.

       When I decided to join the military, I had one mindset and that was to be the best. I had all these plans to fight in the war and become a U.S. Ranger and this and that and it was pointless. I never thought of why I wanted to do any of it and even before I entered they found out I was colorblind and would not let me join a combat military occupational speciality. So even though the plans I had thought I wanted were set back behind some good old trickery I was able to get a passing score for seeing colors allowing me to magically get into a combat job.

      Once in this field, I was able to qualify with my weapon and physical fitness scores being second best in the company I applied for Ranger school and unbeknown to me at the time, they too held a colorblind test. It was tragic because I could not pull this same "magic" I had before and my plans were ruined. I asked myself why was I here what were my intentions? I tried telling myself I was there because of 9/11 and I wanted pay back but I'm a bit cynical myself and don't believe any outside force cause that kind of damage. After much of back and fourth between this I realized I did not want to be there after all, I had nothing to prove and did not believe in the mission. 

       Beatrice then through a series of events ends up trying to confine in a man she had been listening to every night for weeks. She lays it all out on the line, tells her life story, who she is, how she got there, what she wants but can never have and she hears a sound the sound of him being asleep. Out of anger she steals his money and buys everything she wanted to become the desirable women she always knew she could be and returns to the same bar she stole from. All the men worship her for a brief moment then ends up going to jail for the crime she committed.

         This is where Beatrice and I differ. After I realized I did not agree with our purpose and that my goals could never be accomplished. Much like her she started to realize the rich man of her dreams was never going to take her away yet she decided to go down with a brief moment of glory. However when I encountered my small moment I had gotten injured due to an improper weapon system setup falling on my back causing multiple slipped disc. Leave the military or stay in and continue on, Many of the guys I had been with throughout the years were certain I would stay, kept commenting "he's to tough" and comments of pressure to that nature. I was also recommend to the promotion board after my injury. However I decided to leave rather than to continue to conform against  my mixed emotions.

          Ngugi Wa taiong shows us the complex mental battle and the challenges that an individual faces with having multiple identities. One may think what's the big deal to be given a second name to be known by? Yet this is more then a second name, it's a Christian name that probably comes with Christian beliefs moreover European beliefs and although it may be easy to think well, just don't participate in the establishment. However to not participate in the system usually results in extreme poverty more so than their already is, and being outcasted socially. Finally how can any individual make a choice when almost no choice exist? Therefore the struggle of multiple personalities and identities can become a messy life long confusing battle that can't really be won.

Nadine Gordimer-The new way of thinking

                Throughout these stories we gain a sense of the effects of the Apartheid  and the effect they have on the individuals mindset.

                When thinking of the author Nadine Gordimer I think of the emphasis the author puts on the Apartheid and particularly they way it effected every individuals thinking. When thinking about this author it brings me back to our class conversation over "Six Feet of the Country".  This brought up the discussion about Petrus and his strong desire to bury his brothers body. We discussed the religious reasons behind it and more importantly the ways others felt about the individual passing away and how they deal with it. Something as simple as thinking about others feelings I had totally ignored. Like one of my outspoken class mates, I to agreed with him and his story of the horse, "who cares what you do with the body, it's dead". However this expression at the time I felt conveyed my only point of view as well if it was my body I would rather people dump it in the ocean then waist their money on my burial. However I was ignorant, furthermore my thought process was completely contradictory because I ignored the simple fact that if this was somebody I knew I would never think this way. Therefore it was quite foolish that I forgot the simple idea of considering others feelings over mine.

                Applying this to the Apartheid and the message I believe Gordimer was portraying to us had kind of worked in the same way. People in this system could only see everybody from one point of view. In this system whites were the highest class and therefore considered everyone else inferior. The lower classes aware that they're being oppressed were the victims and therefore had the majority view that all whites were bad and may had started to in fact believe they themselves were inferior because of society.   This system had altered everybody's way of thinking, never allowing them to realize that they were all victims (admittedly some more than others) in this institution.  

                In "Six Feet of the Country" we are shown this by the seemingly old grumpy white man who is calling all around for Petrus's brothers body. When he is unable to get the body back it enrages him not because his workers brothers body is missing or the amount of money Petrus had gathered to pay for his brothers body or the amount of calls the grumpy white man had made for it but because he was white and the "system" wasn't working for him when it was suppose to. However as we noted all throughout the story there wasn't any signs that he himself was a racist by his own accord in anyway yet his way of thinking just wasn't right.

                Even Lerice the wife from "Six Feet of the Country" seems very nice and open to her workers and even referred to them as "her children". Sadly enough when Petrus brother was dying because he had been seriously ill and they had not told the white farm owners until it was too late because they were afraid they would get in trouble for having a refuge. Lerice even says after it happens "You would think they would have felt they could tell us".  It's tragic to think even though they thought they were in a  better place and believed they had a good relationship with their workers that it wasn't as strong as they had thought.  Both sides were misguided in their thought process and once again it's safe to assume from this story and what we know that it was a result of the institution they were in.

                Further evidence of this misguided thought process is shown in "Good Climate, Friendly Inhabitants".  In this we are introduced to an older white woman as the main character she does not seem to intentionally be a bigot I say because of several reasons but for one particular example she says in regards to Jack "Sometimes you find yourself talking to that boy as if he was a white person." This is aggravating for several reasons, first she is implying that only white people are intelligent and or speak that confidently. Moreover the other reason the story shows she is not a bad person we are shown this bye how she decides to help this stranger get a room for the night off her recommendation and then even allows this stranger in her place for several nights. However we also learned that she was quite paranoid of the towns people and feared they were out to get her. It's amazing when a system that says someone is better than somebody else creates tension and natural enemies.

                Nadine Gordimer does a great job of showing the effects of the Apartheid physically and mentally. I felt this authors story expanded my way of thinking. It's so easy to learn about the physical damages and the economical hardships it brought on the other "classes" in this system. However I would have never considered the long term physiological  damage this had been causing. Because these people were told long enough that they were either better or worse than others, they started to feel this way. Even if they weren't actually bad people they thought in very ignorant ways. It's scary to think that this can happen because if this type of thought process can be produced and developed, how long until it goes away. I have to ask myself, does it even go away and if it doesn't that horrible way of thinking will pass generation to generation  causing hate to live on.

Chinua Achebe My experience with "The Madman" and the authors overall message

            After reading Chinua Achebe three stories “Girls at War,” “The Madman” and “An Image of Africa, I found myself challenged by the meanings and forced to take a closer look into the message Achebe was trying to convey.

            At first glance I must have really misread "The Madman" at first and I had seriously mistaken this as crazy, chaotic and hard to follow. Like many others I was very confused and had made the assumption that the two main characters were one in the same. I had to look back at the dialect between the madman and the main character Nwibe. It was when the madman started thinking to himself that Nwibe was the same man who had beat him up , the same man that whipped him out of his hut and that Nwibe was the same man who told his children to throw stones at him. Followed by the Madman laughing out loud as he watches Nwibe bathe, in which Nwibe hears and replies to the madman "I can see you are hungry for a whipping” Followed by the text “For a madman is said to be easily scared away by the very mention of a whip." This is where I concluded that the madman is not running away, therefore Nwibe must be talking to himself. So in my thought process I had somehow conjured up a meaning to the story which I concluded somehow society can make a seemingly normal person crazy or that only crazy people live in society.

            However after class discussion, I had learned that these two characters were in fact two different individuals and then everything else started to fall in place. I had also learned that just as I suspected that the first character was clinically insane and in the aftermath of Nwibes chase to beat this insane man had made him look crazy as well. After all, running through the streets naked, screaming “Hold the madman, he’s got my cloth!” is not very normal in society. Finally because society thought he was crazy even he started to believe he was crazy and started to withdraw from society never wanting to be seen. It’s frightening to look at it from this point of view, Nwibe was reliable and respected on top of that, he seemed to have played by societies rules and in doing so suffered because of it. It's hard to imagine what being out casted could do you mentally.

            Ironically enough I found it hilarious that the reliable sensible Nwibe was thought of as crazy by the towns people and it was the towns people opinion of him that actually made him crazy. If this wasn't funny enough the doctor who refuses to help cure him because he knew Nwibe wasn't crazy and refused to take the villages money. Yet the other doctor took the people's money and "cured" his patients "madness" making this doctor famous throughout the lands. Also we must take notice to the ending when Nwibe gains the courage to talk to the titled men and yet they avoid answering him. However we find this type of writing a recurring theme in Achebe's writing. As we can recall with "Girls at War"  There was a multiple twisted ending there as we may have overlooked in our class discussion. Like everybody else I agree it was Ironic and even twisted from my perspective that Achebe would kill off the "good guys" and let the bad guy live. Yet as we had mentioned in class, the main character Nwankwo had picked up the girl only because Gladys nudged him into it. However it was Nwankwo who had forced his driver to stop and pickup this soldier. In my point of view it was as if the "bad guy" was starting to become good and almost try and redeem himself with this humane action, nonetheless ending in failure much like Nwibe.

            Lastly, I find Chinua Achebe to be a very cynical writer. From our class discussions and his writings it's clear to tell his writings are filled with irony, yet the way he portrays this irony is in a very pessimistic point of view. It's upsetting, I've thought about the endings and was trying to understand his conveyed message. Since the stories seem to always end with failure, I can't help but think that Achebe's message in it's very basic form is failure. Failure to prevent colonization perhaps? Failure to think freely? Failure to resist?  All and all I leave as I started, confused with lots of questions.

           

"The Stranglehold of English lit" Response

            In "The Stranglehold of English lit" Felix Mnthali argues that English literature in Africa can be seen as an impediment to Africans questioning European influence and physical presence in Africa. Mnthali also questions the ability of the European schools in Africa to answer any real critique of European colonialism.

  I strongly agree with the viewpoint articulated by Mnthali in his poem against English literature.  Africa has long been a place of turmoil fueled by rapacious European colonialism and the slave trading and civil wars that came along with it. Primarily at fault were the Western and European powers. I also find it intriguing that Mnthali states "For if we had asked why Jane Austen's people carouse all day and do no work, would Europe In Africa have stood the test of time?" After thinking about this closely I asked myself: whether or not they had the luxury to ask that question? During the slave trade millions of Africans were killed or taken away from their country, and turned against each other for the sake  of European textiles and manufactured goods. How could they have been able to argue against the influence of European literature on African culture, when their population was crippled for so long. One could even argue that the only success of European influence in Africa was because of the devastating effects of the slave trade. Any influence after this could be considered positive or even embraced in Africa.  However I believe Jane Austin  in this context is in reference to the general wealthy population of Europe and are targeted because they benefited from the crimes that were perpetrated against  the people of Africa.

  I also feel Mnthalis frustration and anger  in which he states "Eng. Lit., my sister, was more than a cruel joke, it was the heart of alien conquest. How could questions be asked at Makerere and Ibadan' Dakar and Ford Hare with Jane Austen at the centre? How could they be answered?"  How could colonization be  a positive thing for the people of Africa? Especially by the very same powers who had oppressed them in the first place? Furthermore they are taught literature that inspired dreams the likes of which were, at the time maintained in large part by the suffering of Africans. Yet these are the very same writings they are taught today due to colonization.

  Lastly, as stated above, Mnthalis refers to Eng. Lit., as more than a cruel joke and I couldn't agree more. If  English literature is taught at all, it should be with an understanding of the price that was mostly paid for by the people of Africa. Is this part of the deceit  Mnthali mentions that literature such as Jane Austen brings? Does English literature prevent the questioning of their own suffering and growth stunted development, disguised as a gift or is it simply a ploy to encourage the African people to adopt European culture over their own? With this insight I find no surprise why Mnthali would read this poem in a loud, booming voice.